Train's back to drop a load on us... our one and only NBA All-Star correspondent in Houston returns for the final installment of his All-Star Preview a la Gonzo...
Predictions! A few different scenarios...
i.) Kobe will try so hard to win MVP that he will alienate all his fans... (He already did that in 2002) if Kobe wins MVP he will have amassed 123 points, breaking the record in the one game that really means nothing, adding 16 reb and 1 ast that was really an errant floater taken as an alley-oop by Tracy McGrady...
ii.) LeBron will take MVP by racking up a triple double, 22 pts, 12 rebs, and a statistically impossible 100 assists by setting up both teams... and as always, he'll make it easy. You'd have to count the TOs as ASTs then, right?
iii.) In the best possible scenario that Yao wins MVP (we considered many)... he will choose the All-Star game to reveal the beast within. Shaq will dunk on Yao and proceed wobbling down the court in his special way like Special Olympics on Broadway, leaving Yao in a pile of cameramen. Yao will emerge from the pile of humans, leaping, but suddenly hairy and with fangs, like Teen Wolf. And then he will take over the game, throwing behind the back passes and dunking from half-court apparently repeatedly on a loop, from different camera angles, but obviously the same plays over and over... and nobody will think its strange at all. It will be quite the opposite. Fans will swarm him after the game for his crazy antics and invite him to the school dance.
Josh Smith will win the dunk contest when he dunks Nate Robinson. Skills Challenge = Nash. Rookie Sophomore = TJ. (We love TJ!) 3pt Shootout... no contest. Nobody beats the Jesus.
Yea, but you know Q won the shootout last year, right? In what was perhaps the ugliest display of shooting I'd seen until "Black Jack" Ryan embarassed the field by at least double the points in ESPN2's City Slam Shootout last summer. Watching New York "streetball legends" shoot was like watching Chris Rock act. You think want him to be good... you think he should be good. But instead, he gives you the wrong kind of goosebumps.
I don't know what you're talking about but okay. -- T
Predictions! A few different scenarios...
i.) Kobe will try so hard to win MVP that he will alienate all his fans... (He already did that in 2002) if Kobe wins MVP he will have amassed 123 points, breaking the record in the one game that really means nothing, adding 16 reb and 1 ast that was really an errant floater taken as an alley-oop by Tracy McGrady...
Or...
ii.) LeBron will take MVP by racking up a triple double, 22 pts, 12 rebs, and a statistically impossible 100 assists by setting up both teams... and as always, he'll make it easy. You'd have to count the TOs as ASTs then, right?Or...
iii.) In the best possible scenario that Yao wins MVP (we considered many)... he will choose the All-Star game to reveal the beast within. Shaq will dunk on Yao and proceed wobbling down the court in his special way like Special Olympics on Broadway, leaving Yao in a pile of cameramen. Yao will emerge from the pile of humans, leaping, but suddenly hairy and with fangs, like Teen Wolf. And then he will take over the game, throwing behind the back passes and dunking from half-court apparently repeatedly on a loop, from different camera angles, but obviously the same plays over and over... and nobody will think its strange at all. It will be quite the opposite. Fans will swarm him after the game for his crazy antics and invite him to the school dance.
Josh Smith will win the dunk contest when he dunks Nate Robinson. Skills Challenge = Nash. Rookie Sophomore = TJ. (We love TJ!) 3pt Shootout... no contest. Nobody beats the Jesus.Yea, but you know Q won the shootout last year, right? In what was perhaps the ugliest display of shooting I'd seen until "Black Jack" Ryan embarassed the field by at least double the points in ESPN2's City Slam Shootout last summer. Watching New York "streetball legends" shoot was like watching Chris Rock act. You think want him to be good... you think he should be good. But instead, he gives you the wrong kind of goosebumps.
I don't know what you're talking about but okay. -- T
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