Friday, September 29, 2006

Rockets in the Head: A Banner Year

Mush-mouth. Train loves him already.

Two weeks ago, the Globetrotter crew was at the local hot spot--okay, the Pizzeria Uno's happy hour--and we each went around making picks for the '06-'07 NBA season.

Surprisingly, we all picked the Rockets to win it. The surprise is less in the fact that it would be just about the first time a team went from the lottery to the Championship (as far as we can remember), and even less in the fact that Duke picks the Rockets every year--it's that we could all say it with a straight face.

Don't ask why... it's better not to know... we know it's ridiculous... it is in the nature of the sports fan, but now this whole Bonzi Wells addition is only making us giddy with excitement. Is there any more perfect complement to the current personnel? Whereas before we had contrive Houston not to see either Dallas or San Antonio in the playoffs--hoping they face sweeping suspensions following an all-out brawl instigated by a second Jason Terry punch to Michael Finley's crotch--now the Rockets can legitimately match up with both them guys.

Of course, at Yao Central, I get the caffeine high comedown, but the message isn't lost. We at Globetrotter endorse the Houston Rockets for 2007 NBA Champs.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Rockets in the Head: Holy Sh*t They Actually Did It

Several legitimate news sources (but we'll choose the following) are reporting that Bonzi Wells has agreed to terms to join the '06-'07 Houston Rockets. It's a two year deal worth 4.5 mil if Bonzi decides to pick up the option for the second season--which he won't. is reserving all judgement and, like Rockets officials, ain't saying shit 'til the deal is done. We'll wait for the final word to start talking championship.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Tracy McGrady News to Us

Just saw the new NBA Live 07 commercial with Tracy McGrady... and it's wholly captivating to us for its religious implications and their application to sports--which is nothing new--but in the idea of doubt... and its corresponding faith... though hardly expressed in academic or necessarily theological terms therein, it rarely appears in such popular culture outside the bible belt. I mean the idea is fascinating in a time of such growing religious self-assuredness... to us at least.

It's not that we're particularly religious. It's that McGrady seems to be... at least in the question of faith... and EA Sports expresses/exploits this inherent agony of self-awareness... in Mac's jumpshot. Where did Mac's statement come from? An interview or was it done for the spot?

We've looked about the 'net for a transcript or a video upload but haven't been able to find one.
Look for it--likely on ESPN. And even though it's old news, we didn't know that Mac was the cover boy. There's an older commercial on Youtube that we must have missed.

We did, however, come across this site titled simply, Tracy McGrady News, which isn't pretty but is on point with all your T-Mac news and updates such as: Mac got married to his high school sweetheart ...and Juwan Howard was there.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Yao Ming Says No to Drugs, Hollywood Fame

Yao Ming has rejected Brett Ratner's offer to re-enact Kareem Abdul Jabbar's "Hakim" in Ratner's Rush Hour 3 re-interpretation of a fight scene between Jabbar and Bruce Lee, co-opted in 1978 by Robert Clouse in Game of Death. Chris Tucker was to be the "Bruce Lee" character.

China's Ministry of Public Relations is disappointed in their single client's decision, but relieved to forego what would surely have been a long strain of drug abuse cover-ups, lurid affairs and infamous Hollywood murders.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Rockets in the Head: New Heads, New Eyes

It's finally that time of year... to start talking Rockets basketball again. That may have started sooner for some, but we think mid-September is the perfect time to revisit our obsession with Rocket red... so, we present to you our first installment of Rockets in the Head '06-'07.

Is Houston seriously considering Bonzi Wells in a sign-and-trade? The Rocket Guy has Houston in the hunt. Feigen and Blinebury over at are skeptical. Bonzi, anyone? Anyone?'s got your details. has a revamped layout that looks like a spaceship console... or the programming module for some futuristic Cyberball team. And they're doing this theme with eyes this season... it's kind of disturbing and you can't tell who's who...

Who the hell is this?

That is... other than Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady... for obvious if different reasons. Oh, and if you hurry now, there's a Steve Novak gallery! But if you were thinking about downloading them... unh-unh, no dice.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Shark's Fin Soup-Gate: The Battle Begins...

After a much publicized stand against China's favorite soup-based delicacy, Yao has somehow divided a nation... or at least, divided its nature-loving celebrities from everybody else. There are now two factions that define Soup-Gate: the shark's fin soup lovers who are therein lovers of China and Chinese culture or the shark's fin soup haters... otherwise known has nature-lovin' hippie tree-huggers.

Only adding to the intrigue now is China's new pro-dorsal celebrity spokesperson, none other than Tracy Lamar McGrady. Teammate versus teammate. Yao says no, T-Mac says yes. How will Yao react to this probably alarmist, erroneously assumed back-stabbing? When will T-Mac ever actually have the soup again? What fate awaits the soup of shark's fins? All these questions to be answered here with up-to-the-minute coverage of Shark's Fin Soup-Gate ...only at Globetrotter.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Oh Yea and Uh...
FIBA World Chip Coverage 2006

Spain won the FIBA thing, embarrassing our pick, Greece, 70-47. Was this game really representative of the best in the world? Would it be so hard to have it best-of-five or something? Feels like the corporate league... with ringers. U.S. pulls the bronze, taking Argentina 96-81.

Spain's win was so under the radar, FIBA has already moved on. Did anyone else know Spain still had a king?

Friday, September 01, 2006

All Hail Our New Greek Rulers...
FIBA World Chip Coverage 2006

The Greeks put a hurtin' on CarWadeBron and Team USA this morning, turning a 12-point deficit in the second quarter to a 14-point lead by the third, eventually winning the contest 101-95. It was complete and utter domination... but not the NBA kind, more like watching that team of old Hoosier-looking white men who would always beat your high school team in summer league games. Yea, you can run on them, dunk on them, but in the end they just keep doing that pick and roll over and over, and they can't miss a damn shot. That kind of domination is infuriating and that's what CarWadeBron got... and a little dance to wash it down.

But the only thing we really gleaned from all this, and by we I mean we Globetrotter guys, is that Vassy Spoons is looking all right... lit up Team USA with 22 pts... yep... he's looking all right now... yep... mm-hmm.

You think the International world doesn't still love to stick it to the nasty Americans? Here's a quote from former Greek star, Panayiotis Fasoulas, about what the win means to Greece:
This is the biggest thing we've ever done. The Americans are the most talented players but we have a better team. Right now we're the best in the world. Beating the U.S. is more important than the final.
In the other semi-final, Spain narrowly beat Argentina 75-74 as Andres Nocioni missed a last second winner in the corner. This could have been considered an upset, too, though both teams admit they looked very evenly matched... which is more than you could say about the U.S. and Greece.