Yao Dances With Whitey

While I was doing some freelance film work a few years back in Houston, I was somehow added to the mailing list of Southwestcasting.com, an agency that sends out casting calls via e-mail to all those on the list. I received this one for a Yao Ming spot today:

Southwestcasting.com is seeking HISPANIC and NATIVE AMERICAN INDIAN basketball players for a UNICOM INTERNET SERVICES commercial starring YAO MING of the Houston Rockets. The concept involves YAO MING trying to get past a basketball team of NATIVE AMERICAN INDIANS.

Dark skinned Caucasians may also be considered.

Candidates must be in shape and have athletic skills – you must be able to handle a basketball convincingly. Obviously, the taller the better. Long hair is a plus. An audition will be required.

Men, ages 18-35. Hispanic, Native American Indian or dark-skinned Caucasian may submit. If you are 35+ and in shape, go ahead and submit as well just in case.

If you are interested in being considered, please send a JPG photo along with the following information to: southwestcasting@hotmail.com

The commercial will air in Hong Kong.

If you've never seen casting calls, they aren't exactly what you would call... culturally sensitive, but this nugget of hilarity takes the red velvet cake. Who was the braintrust behind this great steaming load of progressive marketing genius? Just imagine the pitch meeting:

Yao's lost in the desert--it doesn't matter how he gets there, he's a foreigner in a foreign land, he gets lost, but he's in a uni because we need to know it's Yao, because non-basketball fans might not know the 7' 6" Chinese guy was Yao unless he's in the uni, and he needs to get back to the Toyota Center for a game, but Yao, he stumbles across this ancient Indian basketball ground. And these Indian--what? Oh, Native American's suddenly appear and challenge him to a game... no, it doesn't matter if they're actually Native American... I don't know if there's any around. We'll just dress some guys up in the feather thing, some really tan guys, just make sure they have a jumpshot.

Magical. We envision the result would be this: