Rockets in the Head: Drop the Hammer

Fran Blinebury and Jonathan Feigen of Chron.com ask whether or not it was a good preseason on their blog... there not so sure. Also mentioned was that Ryan "The Hammer" Bowen was waived. We had no idea. It was not exactly ceremoniously announced on Rockets.com. Feigen wonders why fans disliked Bowen so much. We can only say that he was our cult hero. Never have we loved a basketball player more with an uglier jumpshot. We'll miss "The Hammer," and we hope he takes an assistant coaching position.

It looks like the Floridian rags have never let go of their prodigal son. Tracy McGrady is still making headlines in Florida Today and the Florida Ledger, could be more, but we stopped looking after those two. The reviews all positive now. T-Mac, the Florida-native, still has plenty of love for Orlando, just not GM John Weisbrod.

Steve Novak could just gun his way into a starting spot, forget just a spot in the rotation. You know the guy has a little something when former Marquette fans keep telling me how much they miss him and how the Rockets are truly blessed. Most of Globetrotter came from a high school that bred shooters--our coach James Sharp was in the Top 5 all-time FG% shooters in NCAA history as a perimeter player. If we couldn't do anything else coming out of high school, we could shoot. Hell, one of us once made 16-18 from the arc in a league game in the first half, but we're still awed by Novak's stroke. Check this quote: "He will never lose a 3-point shooting contest." That's from Scott Padgett. McGrady says Novak is the best shooter in the NBA--already.

Van Gundy though, ever the realist, hopes that his "one great skill" doesn't turn him into a one-trick pony. JVG knows that his stroke will be an asset to the rotation, but he doesn't want Novak to start thinking that's all he has to contribute. Novak, for his part, doesn't seem adverse to learning.

These "2 Chinese' boys" are still around. Well, Arizona's a little slow going with the pop culture, but we broke the story on these fellas a year ago. If they start getting paid for this shit, we gotta get a finder's fee or at least a shout out on Ryan Seacrest radio.

The Hammer | T-Mac | Steve Novak | Backdorm Boys

Rockets in the Head: Unlucky in Ball... Just Unlucky

The Houston Rockets are cursed. Let's face it, just when we get our players healthy, some "accident" or freak injury keeps happening. We can't remember this many nagging injuries since we started watching the Rockets in the early 80s. Then again all of basketball has gotten more injury-prone. But the Rockets' cause of injuries are getting ridiculous. First, it was Yao and his toe... and now energizer bunny/forward Chuck has missed games due to 1.) getting electrocuted at the water fountain and 2.) slipping on a puddle of water on the court during practice.

Somebody needs to put the Rockets in a bubble when their off the court and ship them to a safehouse via armored vehicular transport. The actual headliner in the story linked above is T-Mac's praise for rookie forward, Steve Novak. It's puzzling now that Novak dropped so far in the draft The boy can shoot.

We know Yao is not exactly known as a great prognosticator of talent, but he's convinced Vassy Spoons has got a little Steve Nash in him. Yea, yea... okay... when you're done laughing, remember that had anyone told you Nash were going to win back-to-back MVPs during his rookie year, you'd be laughing just like that. We're not saying Spoons equals Nash, but we wouldn't mind, so we've digitally recreated Spanoulis in the Nash likeness. Not bad, eh?

Boy still looks like Colin Farrell... this time from The New World.

Chuck Hayes | unlucky | Steve Novak | Vassy Spoons

Yao is a Company Man

After reaching out to Yao about leaving Reebok and joining the dark empire of Nike, Yao has responded with a little jab of his own.

After being told by Chronicle reporter, Jonathan Feigen, that Dallas Mavericks' Dirk Nowitzki, Jason Terry and Jerry Stackhouse have not yet played a pre-season game, Yao responded: "They haven't played yet? Must wear Nikes."

Well played young man, well played.

But the love doesn't stop there. Surfing around on "the 'Net" as we often do, we across a horde of young people who love Reebok's Yao Ming line of sneakers... enough to render their own versions.

Yao | big toe | I am what I am

Train's Ex Says 'Hi, How You Like Me Now?'

Train's ex-girlfriend introduces herself to new Houston Rockets Vassy Spoons and Shane--then she gets this picture taken and sends it to him. Nice. Spoons, though, is getting dangersously close to Colin Farrell territory. Looks like a bad Miami Vice look-alike contest. Aren't they wearing matching outfits?

All Train's exes live in Texas | Vassy Spoons | Shane

Rockets in the Head: Van Gundy's Happy Face

This is Jeff Van Gundy before Houston's pre-season started, almost giddy, believing the Rockets had made the right moves in the off-season. Then Yao had his big toenail removed.

But Van Gundy is laying his trademark scowl to rest... or at least, he's really trying to, all in an attempt to put on a happy face this season and approach things with... uh, optimism. In this interview at Chron.com, JVG tries to convince himself Yao's toe is half-full.

So our favorite little tax attorney has gotten a lot of criticism during his time in H-town, not all of it unwarranted, but we wouldn't ask for anyone else ('cept maybe Rudy T). Van Gundy is otherwise perfect here. The guy's hilarious--just look at that lichtikeh punim.

Rockets lost their preseason opener to Memphis, but Mac looked good as well as the actual starters that did play in the first half. Houston's traded draft pick, Rudy Gay, showed some signs of things to come. Game was lost in the second with the Rockets' reserves, whom all seem to know they need a lot of work. Van Gundy's not sold on Vassy Spoons or Little John Lucas (yayuh!) yet for that back-up point spot yet. Kirk Snyder looks really weird in a Rockets uniform for some reason. Rockets to play Atlanta tonight.

As for the beginning of the Bonzi era... or year... in Houston, it has been unfortunately postponed yet again due to root canal. Classic excuse. We totally feel blown off.

Van Gundy | Kirk Snyder | Bonzi | Yao's toe

Sharks Fin Soup-Gate: T-Mac Speaks Out

With all the new hype we've been peddling for the impending '06-'07 Houston Rockets campaign, we've had to put on the back-burner our Story of the Year:

After we tapped out every resource we had (meaning browsed Google for about an hour, e-mailed some friends who live close to Yao's house in Houston and hassled John from Yao Ming Mania), the lack of definitive leads caused the story to fade... that is until Mr. Irrelevant, Jamie Mottram (not a diss, but the name of his blog), from AOL Sports Bloggers Live e-mailed us last week with a response from the source... or one of them.

After a rigorous interrogation of Rockets star, Tracy McGrady, the AOL SBL crew managed to secure Mac's official stance. Yes, he has Yao's back on this... interesting choice of words. He... probably still couldn't care less about the actual sharks, but we applaud T-Mac's supporting his Chinese friend-giant. We knew he would. We knew this was a set up by China and the Red Guard all along. But what strain has this controversy already left on the Rockets teammates? Will lingering resentment surface during the course of the season? How will the public receive T-Mac's indecisive stance on the soup? The issue will be brought up again in the primaries and T-Mac will surely be called a waffler on shark's fin soup. We here at Globetrotter, however, endorse Mac and support his brave decision with vigor, just so long as he doesn't change it again.

Big ups to True Hoop magnate, Henry Abbott, for influencing the AOL Sports Bloggers Live guys to interrogate Mac. We couldn't have done it better ourselves. We couldn't have done it.

Yao | T-Mac | Shark's Fin Soup-Gate | Red Guard

Did You Know? Did You Know? Did You Know?

That's right. It's the damn shoes. Last week, Yao Central linked the story on the re-injury of Yao's toe. Now, Houston Rockets coach, Jeff Van Gundy, is convinced its some design flaw in Yao's shoe. Maybe, but Van Gundy's more tripped about it than Yao.

We would like to take this opportunity to go on record and say we've never liked Reebok... except the Iversons... the Iversons were okay. I had a pair of the very first "Questions" myself and I never felt closer to crossover thug life. So it's not that I didn't give Reebok a chance. I wore some Kobe's for a month until I sprained my ankle (for the first time) so bad there was severe ligament damage--never been the same since. I even did a regional commercial for the Steve Francis "Franchise" Reebok line. They gave me two free pairs, but both fell apart after less than a month. And they never felt right anyway... certainly not thugged life. I don't think Francis even used them. Reebok is a personal nightmare and they have no return policy.

I've always been a Nike man... no doubt the expected result of years of summer camp and AAU brainwashing a la freebie. And of course, there's Mars, the greatest, if most easily recognizable, shoe-peddling director of our time... but mostly, it's that near-urban legend return policy. It's no legend.

Reeboks are wack, Yao... come over. Come to the darkside. Join Nike... your destiny.

Yao | Reebok | Questions | Nike | The Dark Side

Shane Battier is the New Damon Jones

We know this is kinda old news... and some people actually care about that... I would insert one of those winking smileys there if we were of that kind, but we're not... anyway, Shane Battier has signed to be the spokesperson for China's PEAK sportswear.

Yao Ming Mania has better coverage of the proceedings, so we'll just toss it to them, but we wanted to pose a question... or really an idea. Shaquille O'Neal in China is completely understandable... big, lovable, icon. Clyde Drexler is a Hall-of-Famer... still understandable. But Shane Battier? And previously, Damon Jones?

Are these the only guys left without shoe deals?

Why not then go for sheer novelty? What about... an Earl Boykins line for children or diminuitive Chinese... or is that redundant? Or maybe a Chris Kaman joint mash-up line with Sam Cassell and Gollum? Those are popular with the kids these days. The mash-ups. Give us a holler, we got tons of ideas.

Shane Battier | PEAK | China | mash-up | Gollum

Rockets in the Head: Orlando Picks Houston Rockets Champs

Just remember, you heard it from this bastion of distiguished journalism known as the Orlando Sentinel first... the Houston Rockets will be the 2007 NBA Champs... as the "long-shot, long-odds" pick.

We don't know who this Tim Povtak guy is, but we like the cut of his jib. And he drops a dime on the last team with a losing record to win the Chip... the Portland Trailblazers in 1977. Sweet. Bonzi played for Portland. It's like destiny.

Orlando Sentinel | Friends of Houston Rockets for NBA Champs '07