The Playoff Hustle: Globetrotter Predictions

Predictions	Duke Hogwild	aloneconformist	Train
Round 1 West DAL v. GSW SAS v. DEN PHO v. LAL HOU v. UTA East DET v. ORL CLE v. WAS TOR v. NJN MIA v. CHI	2-4 2-4 4-1 4-1 4-0 4-0 2-4 4-2	4-3 4-2 4-3 4-2 4-0 4-1 4-3 2-4
Season Awards	MVP - Dirk MIP - D. Williams COY - J. Sloan 6Man - Barbosa DEF - Camby ROY - B. Roy	MVP - Dirk MIP - K. Martin COY - S. Mitchell 6Man - Barbosa DEF - Who cares? ROY - B. Roy
Who We'd Choose	MVP - T-Mac MIP - J.R. Smith COY - JVG 6Man - Head DEF - J. Smith ROY - B. Roy	MVP - Nashy MIP - M. Ellis COY - JVG 6Man - Barbosa DEF - Don't matter ROY - ROY

DUKE HOGWILD'S FULL PLAYOFF PREDICTION

ROUND 1 is the most important round for my predictions. rockets, phoenix, detroit, & cleveland are easy picks. the heat & nets are arguable picks... it's the nuggets & the warriors that cause the nay sayers to doubt me.

you may think it has nothing to do with denver & golden state and everything to do with the fact that i'm anti spur & maverick..well you're partly correct, but i would never make a crazy prediction without a little validity.

golden state finally has the team they've been trying to get on the floor all year. they're 9-1 heading into the playoffs with this line up. they've been lights out.

their confidence started with a victory that ended the mavericks 17 game winning streak. baron davis, jason richardson, monta ellis, stephen jackson, & al harrington make up the most unique starting line up in the league. they all hit from beyond the arc, and can all guard dirky boy..plus monta speaks german shizer talk. they're inspired, in shape, and have NOTHING to lose..not to mention they're coached by the one guy that knows the mavs secrets..

denver isn't as deep as the spurs, but the A.I. factor negates the spurs depth. he fears nothing, has the experience, and is as clutch as they come..nene & camby are healthy, which gives the nuggets two options to throw at duncan. melo will balance out manu & bowen's involvement, and j.r. smith's three's will be the cherry in game 6.

ROUND 2
rockets over golden state in 6
suns over nuggets in 6
heat over pistons in 7
cavs over nets in 6

the only series i'm iffy about is the heat pistons matchup. i give it to miami only for what dwyane wade did last year. he deserves that much from me.

CONFERENCE FINALS
rockets over suns in 6
heat over cavs in 6

at this point in the playoffs t-mac & yao will be within the legendary duo zone. phoenix will lose yet again in the conference finals..

luther head will become the new alltime 3 point makes leader in a playoff series.

the flash vs king james. this is what kids across the world have been waiting for there whole lives. this will be one of the greatest duals in nba history, but miami's experience will out weigh lebron's 34.3 pts, 8.7 ass, & 9.2 rebs.

FINALS
rockets over heat in 6

i love d.wade, but thou shall not betray the mac. yao puts the nail in shaq's coffin & people across the world will be loving head. -- D.H.

Rockets in the Head: More Head to Love

Ah, our last Rockets in the Head post for NBA '06-'07... we did so few. We'll now be shifting our focus to the Playoff Hustle--which is no longer Rocket-less in '07. I just wish we didn't have to wait 82 games till now. I'm tired.

**Update** My little guest spot on The Basketball Jones Playoff Preview podcast drops Saturday morning. Rockets in six!

Appropriately, our last Rockets in the Head for this season will be used to announce the official launch of the I Love (Luther) Head Fan Club website. Just in time for the playoffs!

He's our favorite Mr. semi-Clutch. How can you not love that doe-eyed face? We all love Head... every Rocket fan from here to Beijing. It's time to express our love with screen-printed t-shirts and various other fashionable apparel at reasonable prices all proudly pasted with custom pronouncements of our great love of Head. Get some. -- R.H.

We are the Champions... My Friends

Me and Duke... the black vagin--er, never mind... it was me and Duke in our fantasy basketball championship and my Team Zissou narrowly escaped his BRUSHFIREMUDSLIDE to be named World Champeen of the train league. My MVP... no other than Kobe "50-50" Bryant. Carlos Boozer--the steal of every season--is a close second.

After dominating the entire week 7-2, Duke came storming back in the final day to tie it up. Zissou won on point differential. Train was somewhere in the consolation bracket... we winners don't really click that link. So, that was cool... now what? Oh yeah, the NBA playoffs.

Thank You America!

The Save Clyde Campaign... from Himself

We were starting to think there was only gonna be one way Clyde Drexler was gonna get eliminated from Dancing with the Stars Season 3 and that was if he was pitted against Heather Mills. No one's voting off a woman with a prosthetic leg. Sure enough, Clyde and Mills were the bottom two last night and Clyde couldn't muster the votes.

Clyde, though, was all class after getting the boot, really living up to that fabled rep as a class act. But we'll leave the commentary to our favorite new Dancing with the Stars analyst.

So the campaign was short-lived... now that it's all over I almost wish it wasn't. Almost. We'll miss Elena. Problem is, we're actually somewhat invested in the show now. It's all about the dancers... ordinary celebrities, in their ever diminishing capacity as icons of grace and beauty, do nothing for us now.

Julianne Hough's booty shake last night was a religious experience.

We're hoping Cliff Clavin lasts a little longer, Edyta is the Polska prawda. And her website has some boudoir photos... which have been clicked mightily. So we're not the only ones.

We're Bonafide... Again; Jones Here We Come

The Basketball Jones has invited us--or at least they've invited Ren, who's been too busy with Fastbreak and his Yao Central to pay adequate attention to us--onto their podcast to pontificate on the Houston Rockets first-round playoff matchup with the Utah Jazz.

It's the best NBA podcast on the Internet, and consequently, the only one we listen to (or is that the other way around?). But why do we really love the Basketball Jones? The music. It's the music. Whoa boy!

We've got a disease and the only cure is more Whoa Boy! Listen to the podcast, you'll see. No release date yet, but we'll post it as soon as.

Rockets in the Head: We're No. 2! Rockets No. 4!

After just missing the Final Four last year, the Houston Rockets Power Dancers have dropped Seattle and Denver consecutively to reach the NBA Dance Team Bracket Finals where they will face the Auerbach Celtics of dance teams... the mighty Miami Heat Dancers.

We would've had coverage of this sooner but we felt like we jinxed the RPD last year with our *ahem* in-depth coverage and subsequent Battle of the Tokens. The Power Dancers tried classy while the Seattle Sonic Boom Boom went and ho'd it out. Seattle won. But the Rockets saw their mistake and like many a tart pop star, went ho for themselves this year. Result.

So, here they are... on the brink of a fantastic moral victory... as the RPD has gone back to classy 'cause even they seem to know this Final is little more than a formality. Nobody can out-ho Miami. But ho, er, hey, you can vote anyway.

Yes, we are hoping our rampant use of the word "ho" will get us a piece of this Imus media circus.

Former Rockets coach, Rudy Tomjanovich, used to say "never underestimate the heart of a champion" during Houston's back-to-back title run in the mid-90s. We say never underestimate how bad your rivals can choke on their own. That's right... quote it. Houston is somehow the 4th seed.

After dropping three straight to Utah, Golden State and Portland last week, the Utah Jazz couldn't pull away going only 1-4 during that stretch. A loss last night to the Warriors and two-straight Ws by the Rockets since then has Houston a half-game up. For now.

The Save Clyde Campaign... from Himself

Please... don't encourage him. The NBA has seen fit to give Clyde a blog, ostensibly detailing his experience on Dancing With the Stars. Which, you know, they gave Gilbert Arenas a blog, so trainwrecks aren't necessarily beyond the Association, as endearing as they might be. But it's just that Clyde is really starting to believe he's getting better.

Don't make Clyde the new Sanjaya when the old Sanjaya is still around. Please, we implore you, loyal fans of Phi Slamma Jamma, the Portland Trailblazers circa '83-'93 and the '94-'95 Houston Rockets' World Championship team, let's not concede that if Jordan and Barkley can have gambling then Clyde can have the jive.

Please, make this stop.

Getting Beaten with One Arm... Literally

Another productive trip into the YouTube depths... this is Vijay Patel or better known to himself as The Wizzard, from Montreal. This kid plays basketball with only one arm... because he has to. Granted, it's just rec. league footage and some of it co-ed, but if you can get past the interspersed inspirational mantra and adolescent angst, it's pretty impressive. Five years in Brooklyn and he'll be legendary...

The Wizzard's put everything a high school youth can think of in his vid description. We found him on a "drunk bitch fights" search. Go figure. We'll file him under our favorite Shaw Brothers flick.

Somebody Please... Make This Stop

What kind of America are we living in when a Shandi Finnessey is the second to get the boot from a prime-time reality show?

When that reality show is Dancing with the Stars and why? Because there's not a straight man in America watching it and everyone else hates the 6' blonde beauty queen. And again, Clyde will get to see if he can't look more awkward on national television. Shandi should have stayed on at least as long as Antonella Barba for whatever she was doing on American Idol. If nothing else, for sporting the always classy bare mid-riff... we DO NOT want Clyde or John Ratzenberger baring anything, let alone any riff. But what can we do about it? Oh yea, not vote for Clyde. If you have any love for the man... please.

Yao Just Got Pwned

Got this off the MMORPG wire... that's geek talk for something. And who are we kidding, we know exactly what it means. We also knew Yao is a WoW-head, but it's all he seems to want to talk about nowadays despite the apparently dead serious reporters.

According to this source, and our fairly poor command of Mandarin, this video is 100% authentic.

First KG, Now Amare?

We're certainly not against hype--have you seen our basketball league?--but first they compare Chinese-born NBA prospect Yi Jianlian to Kevin Garnett and now Yao says Yi is the next Amare? There is such a thing as too high an expectation. I mean, he plays in the Chinese Basketball Association. Almost any athletic 7-footer in the NBA would look like the aforementioned. Then again, KG/Amare were playing high school ball before they jumped.

But NBA TV is playing the CBA Finals right now, so see for yourself. Just mentally plug in Mark Blount or Jonathan Bender and see if you wouldn't get the same results. Not that we don't like Yi, but what's wrong with just being a sleeper pick from time to time?

Golden State of Mind trudges on in their campaign for Yi undaunted. Even by the fact they'll probably make the playoffs (and might win?).

Is It Kobe Time Again Already?

I believed... and my colleagues and I disagree on this... that Kobe's sudden unselfishness in last season's first round playoff series with the Phoenix Suns was merely a diabolical ruse to prove that team ball with this L.A. Laker team wouldn't work. I also believed that this season was only the continuation of the same elaborate and epic ruse... and now, after losing their previous seven games... the charade is over... it's finally Kobe Time again.

115 points in two games. And Kobe thanks his teammates for making good passes. Call me a purist, but thank God it's Kobe Time again.

Jack McCallum knows what I'm talking about.

China's G.E. Labs Have Done It Again

First, there was Wang Zhi Zhi, Mengke Bateer, then the master stroke... Yao Ming. Now, they're just churning them out. Watch yourself, Red Chinese genetic engineering labs! You're getting cocky.

A 13 lbs 12 oz baby? Good God... what's wrong with putting hormones with unknown long-term effects in all the food the American way?

The picture is not actually of the baby. But of a perfectly titled entry by Pan Asian Biz blogger Bill Belew regarding increasingly fat wallets and fatter waistlines in China.

Rockets in the Head: Yea, Good No Call, Ref...

Off the Yao Wire: The Kid is Back

Yao Ming is cleared to play tonight in Cleveland. We all know what happened last time they saw Bron-Bron & Co.

Yao Central is worried the comeback might be too soon. And they got T-Mac's back vs. Yahoo! Sports.