Back! Back Cassell! Back from whence you came... no, no... to the Rockets. Where you already got two of those little rings. Then we can lure Sprewell to play for free (or at least on commission) and trade Yao Ming for Kevin Garnett... that would fix everything.
I personally never want to see the Spurs anywhere near a championship again, and to his credit, neither does Duke. But it disgusts me to watch him root for them. But not as much as Richard Basa.
Lebron, next time, shoot the three.
That actually shouldn't be far off.
Bratty strikes us as that freckled rich kid in the neighborhood (mostly in the 'burbs) who was always bragging about how he could get Michael Jackson to come to his birthday party or Nolan Ryan to pitch batting practice for his Little League team... nobody ever believes Bratty, but sure enough, there's Michael and Bubbles at his Bar Mitzvah... Bratty, show us how.
Mike James wants back in Houston. His house is in Houston. His girlfriend. The Harlem-native makes a good argument, too. Of course, we believe the Rockets would have made the playoffs--even with the injuries--had they not traded him.NBADraft.net posts the Houston Rockets' State of the Cap. It's not pretty. Here's the short list of available free agents.
Not that Lebron resembles Bruce Lee as much as his Nike Kung Fu ads would like you to think, but Bron-Bron is layin' the Jeet Kun Do on Rasheed "Han" Wallace and that big motherfucker Bolo (the other Wallace). So Han had an ankle sprain, huh? Kaaaarmaaaa. Enter the f'ing Dragon.Cavo at Yay! NBA is beside himself... like a gaggle of school girls... but he's only one man... and we understand. But just to clarify, did Lebron have sex with all of Rasheed's presumably pluralistic congregation of polygamous mothers, or all of the Detroit Pistons' mothers or every mother in Detroit?"I'm all right," Wallace said. "Don't send me to the glue factory yet. It's nothing that hasn't happened before."
Sheed guarantees Pistons in 5. Nattie at Need4Sheed.com is religious with this shit. For the full "guaranSheed" click the pic or click here. Gawddamn, Sheed is our kind of crazy.
Uhh... Benny... we know you just took NBA Defensive Player of the Year again, but... there's defense and there's sexual assault. Tayshaun looks horrified. Nevertheless, Bron-Bron puts down another triple-double, joining Magic as the only other player to hit off at least two trippy-dubs in their first respective playoff appearances... of course, Magic was 19 and a rookie. Come on, Lebron. What makes you so special?If you're tired of Nike's multi-million solicitations to bear "witness" to all this, Detroit Bad Boys has your alternatives. Me likee this one:
All right, so it's unfair to say, based on Robert Horry's off-balance fall-away that careened off the side of the backboard in the waning seconds of Mavs-Spurs Game 3 last night, that Big Shot Bob has lost his touch.
It's hard watching this series because as true Rockets aficionados, we just can't root for the Dallas Mavericks or the San Antonio Spurs. Part of us wants the Spurs to win, just to see them in a rematch with Detroit (to which Duke has already predicted a Detroit sweep), and a bigger part of us wants to see them to lose.
Actually, we meant Vassilis Spanoulis might be in the future of Houston Rockets basketball... if Carroll Dawson decides it's enough that the Greek is gregarious and buys out his contract with Euroleague powerhouse Panathinaikos.
It looks like Vassy's at least discovered the way to stop Tony Parker. I follow Euroleague ball, but I admit I don't know all of the rules... I didn't know they allowed slide tackling. Euros and their "futbol."
Luther Head made All-Rookie Second Team. Leading all rookies in 3pFGs made. Not too shabby. The "I Love Head" fan club is in full effect next year.
Just so you know... all that talk about Kobe being the MVP and winning this series... was our anticipative attempt to jinx the Mamba. It worked.
For my girlfriend and her roommate from Maryland... who didn't like what Lebron did to their little Gilbie on the free throw line in OT:Cavaliers star LeBron James walked up to him afterward, patted him on the chest and told him, "If you miss both of those free throws, the game is over."I told you Gilbie would have done the same thing. Yay! NBA has your Cavs wrap up. I guess we can scrap those "I Heart Gilbie" t-shirts.
Arenas didn't even acknowledge James, but he still looked distraught as he prepared to take his second shot -- which was even more off, clanking off the back of the rim. "That's something I would say," Arenas said, laughing about James's attempt to jinx him.
Much has been said about Bron-Bron's penchant for the ugly face. Blah. Blah. Blah. I don't know if that was the sickest gamewinner I've ever seen... but I've never seen anything like it. Lebron James... winner, winner.
The Cavalier over at Yay! NBA can't hardly gather his thoughts either, but he's cognizant enough to suggest Jeff Van Gundy (whose been covering the Cavs-Wizards series) might be making not-so-subtle digs at Tracy McGrady. Well, I'm sure Gilby "really, really want[ed]" it. But...
They wrote a song about it. They'd like you to hear it. Here it go.
Last match, Raja "Pretty Boy" Bell performed a vicious, bloodcurdling clothesline off the ropes on The Black Mamba! Nearly topped by a botched James "Earl Gray" Jones DDT on Kwame "Pass the Butter" Brown!
Dare we say it? I'm just going to say it... this is the best f'ing first round of the playoffs ever. Ever. The ESPN writers weigh in but they're non-committal. I'm saying it:
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